Preacher: Jeremy Herbert

Text: Galatians 6:1-5

Theme: Peacemakers Follow A Biblical Pattern to Resolve Conflict

Notes:

I.     Motivation: How do I Glorify God and do good in this situation?

1. Our motives and methods must be biblical in order to glorify God and do good to others. 

II.     Examination: How can I show Jesus’ transforming work by taking responsibility for my part? Mt. 7:1-5

1. Peacemakers let love cover as much as they can. 

2. Peacemakers apply God’s Word to themselves first. Matthew 7:1-5 

3. Peacemakers admit when they are wrong.

                    1.     They are honest with themselves and others. 

                    2.     Eight A’s of genuine confession. 

1. Address everyone involved 
2. Avoid “if, but, and maybe” 
3. Admit specifically 
4. Acknowledge the hurt
5. Accept the consequences
6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7. Ask for forgiveness: this is an act of humility that shows real heart change. 
8. Allow time. People need time to process emotions. 

III.     Restoration: How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take the responsibility for their part?  Galatians 6:1–5

1. Be Compassionate. 

                    1.     Affirm the relationship: let them know you care and want reconciliation. 

                    2.     Listen well

                    3.     Speak truth in love: the words you say and the way you say it ought to communicate love. 

                    4.     Be patient. 

2. Be Constructive. 

                    1.     Be Truthful: speak the truth in love. be honest about the situation. Don’t exaggerate their wrong or your right. 

                    2.     Be Transparent: let them see your heart. 

                    3.     Talk in person whenever possible. Too much can be misunderstood in text and email. 

                    4.     Talk as peers. Don’t use come across as condescending or superior. We can inadvertently use God’s Word as a hammer to beat someone instead a scalpel to help them. 

                    5.     Watch your tone: be careful not to come across irritated, condescending, or hateful. 

                    6.     Choose your time carefully: If they are tired, stressed, or angry it may make it unnecessarily difficult.

3. Be Clear: Plan your words 

                    1.     Ask good questions to gain understanding. You are helping them examine their heart in light of God’s Word. 

                    2.     Choose words carefully. 

IV.     Reconciliation: How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution?

1. Forgive, because you’ve been forgiven. Ephesians 4:32

                    1.     What Forgiveness isn’t

1. Forgiveness is not acting like the wrong done to you is no big deal. 

2. You can forgive even if the other person does not accept it or want it.”

3. Forgiveness does not mean that trust is immediately restored. 

                    2.     What is it then? 

1. Forgiveness is releasing someone from the punishment or penalty for the wrong against us.
2. Forgiveness is not letting their sin cause you to sin. 
3. Forgiveness is truly desiring and praying for God’s best in their life. 

2. Protect your heart from bitterness. 

                    1.     God not only gives you the command but also the grace to forgive.

                    2.     Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.

V.     Live it Out! Philippians 4:2-9 

1. Choose joy in the Lord over bitterness 4:4
2. Let your gentleness be evident: choose gentleness instead of harshness. 4:5
3. Pray instead of worry. 4:6-7: 
4. Meditate on truth, not the situation. 4:8
5. Keep doing these things by faith! 4:9

Note:

Although I am deeply indebted to those who have taught me these principles in different forms through the years, I want to give special recognition to Ken Sande’s book “The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.”

This book has shaped my understanding of how to handle conflict. I highly recommend this book and encourage you to visit the peacemaker website for additional resources.

ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0801064856

ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0801064852

www.peacemakerministries.org

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Preacher: Jeremy Herbert

Text: Micah 6, Hebrews 12, Ephesians 2

Theme: Peacemakers respond well to conflict so that God’s purposes are accomplished

Notes:

Responses to Conflict

1. Some people run: escape, denial, separation, suicide
2. Some people rage: verbal, physical, legal attacks
3. Some people seek reconciliation: overlooking offenses, negotiation, mediation, arbitration, and accountability

Conflict is inevitable–therefore learning to handle it rightly is important.

Micah 6:8, “…what does the LORD require of you but
to do justly,
love mercy, and
walk humbly with your God?”

Peacemakers want God’s purposes accomplished

1. Conflict is an opportunity to see what is in your heart and what youtrust in
   • Trust is not the same as simply not worrying
   • Trust is not an absence of fear and doubt
   • Trust is actively acting by faith in spite of those fears
2. Conflict is an opportunity to be like Christ (by acting justly)
   • Hebrews 12:1-17
3. Conflict is an opportunity to serve others (by loving mercy)
4. Conflict is an opportunity to glorify God (by walking humbly)

Live It Out: When Conflict Comes…

1. How can I glorify God in this matter?
2. How can I show Jesus’s transforming work by taking personal responsibility for my part of the conflict?
3. How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take the responsibility for their part?
   • You can forgive unilaterally
   • Reconciliation is bilateral
     • Some relationships may never be repaired
     • But you can do your part
4. How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution?

Ephesians 2:4-7

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Preacher: Bruce Miller

Text: Matthew 14:22-33

Theme: Focus

Notes:

The record of Scripture and the history of the church display over and over what God can do with ordinary people willing to serve Him.

14:30, as Peter was beginning to sink he cried out ‘Lord, save me.’

How deep do you have to sink before you cry out to God?

When I go throughout my day do I focus on God, or do I focus on the tasks at hand?

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Preacher: Jeremy Herbert

Text: James 4:1-

Theme: Peacemakers see conflict as an opportunity to examine their heart and draw closer to Christ

Notes:

Outward Causes of Conflict

1. Misunderstandings caused by poor communication
   • Joshua 22, making assumption vs. engaging in conversation
2. Differences in goals, values, gifts, callings, priority, opinion, or expectations
   • This is regarding things that are simply different
   • We sin when we judge simple differences as moral failures
   • Acts 15, Paul and Barnabas
3. Competition over limited resources (time, money, energy, opportunities, attention, etc)
   • Genesis 13, Abram and Lot
4. Hurt–intentional and unintentional
   • Often what is attributed to intentional hurt is in fact unintentional
5. Sinful attitudes, words, or actions
   • These are beyond mere differences, and are clearly intentional

Inward Causes of Conflict

1. Unmet or wrongly ordered desires or expectations
   • In chapter 4 of his epistle, the apostle James confronts believers about conflict in their midst.
     • James 4:1, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?”
     • James 4:4, you love yourself more than you love God or love others.
   • Tests for Idolatry:
     • What will you do to get it?
     • What will you do if you can’t get it?
2. Unbiblical thinking
   • Conflict reveals what is in your heart
   • Handling conflict in ungodly ways is basically functional atheism

Live It Out!

1. Recognize that your desires and thinking are wrong
2. Repent of pride and selfishness
3. Run to Jesus and he will help you

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Preacher: Jeremy Herbert

Text: Acts 21:1-25

Thesis: The local church is worthy my courageous, costly commitment to its spiritual health and unity.

Notes:

Thomas Helwys, Baptist who fled England in the 1600s to flee persecution by the state church.

He later returned to England knowing what it might cost him–he was imprisoned and died in prison 8 years later.

1. Health
   • We are called to dedicate ourselves to the spiritual and physical health
     of our church family at great personal cost.
   • C. T. Studd, “…I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell.”
   • Every family is messy–and  each local church family is no different.
   • John Knox, “Give me Scotland or I die.”

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Preacher: Jeremy Herbert

Text: Joshua 4:1-24

Theme: The Importance of Remembering

Notes:

Many times throughout history God gave His people memorials so that they might remember things.

Remembering God’s past faithfulness will give us courage for the future.

The Israelites under Joshua’s leadership setup the memorials in the land they were going to inhabit.

Remembering is important–but it can be misused:

• Reminiscing–things used to be great in the past, but they aren’t any more
• Regretting–failing to let go of sins and mistakes that God has already forgiven

1. Remembering refocuses our hearts on what matters
2. Remembering communicates God’s faithfulness to future generations
3. Remember keeps us humble
4. Remembering inspires awe
5. Remembering prepares us for greater works

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